My father passed away a few years back, though I find myself reflecting on different moments in life…
Toward the end, I was visiting him in an assisted living facility. Cognitive issues from a traumatic brain injury were augmented by the aging process. Visits had a particular routine that involved introducing ourselves every ten minutes…
“Who are you again?”
Dad was always social and that same gleem remained in his eyes as he attempted to remain connected to the present. As he drifted off into one of his frequent naps, memories turned to the lessons taught over the years. A sense of humor always tempered anger, leading to a softer disciplinary approach … and much wisdom.
The last and most memorable corrective measure occurred when I was a high school sophomore. I don’t recall how the argument with my mother originated, but I chose to use a few expletives. Her only response was the typical warning … Wait ‘til your father gets home.
Sent to my room, I obediently waited and contemplated the consequences. When my dad finally walked into the room, I was sitting on the edge of the bed. He sat down next to me and softly got my attention. Words were simple … You can speak to your mother anyway you want. But nobody speaks to my wife that way.
Those were his only words. Nothing else was done. But I received a different perspective on my parents’ relationship. It led to a better insight into the connectedness we all have to others … And ultimately to another.
It is said our initial view of God is tied to parental images and other authoritative influences growing up. Overcoming negative effects of theses influences is a key factor for the protagonist David Wright in my novel Incompetent Martyrs. As I strongly believe…
People do not reject God. They reject the image of God they have been taught.
Thanks for that positive image, Dad.