Memories and other reflections on life influences
Spending time with my friend PJ, we were discussing the impact of influences on our lives over the years and decisions made. Raised was the question of how much of our freedom is limited strictly by what others think? As American physicist Richard Feynman once expressed…
I have no responsibility to live up to what others expect of me. That’s their mistake, not my failing.
Two weeks ago my wife and I were able to spend a restful weekend away from home, traveling to Fountain Hills east of Scottsdale, Arizona. Accommodations were at the Inn at Eagle Mountain and we could not have been more pleased with the setting, facilities and staff.
Also, highly recommended is the restaurant next to the main lobby … Pietro’s. Enjoyed an incredible Italian meal. Already looking for a return visit!
Though the intent was a getaway, thoughts and conversation remained on news heard about different friends and acquaintances. All revived around health issues. All involving cancer. The range went from imminent death to treatable, and with all other ranges in between. With each, we considered circumstances and tried to empathize. It caused my own reflection on crosses we face in life…
When faced with challenges and struggles the question should not be … Why me? Rather we should ask … How will this cross make me more in the image of God? … It is then that we can wipe the tears of others … Console the sorrowing … And find the strength to pick ourselves up and continue on, knowing we are deeply loved by the One.
My father passed away a few years back, though I find myself reflecting on different moments in life…
Toward the end, I was visiting him in an assisted living facility. Cognitive issues from a traumatic brain injury were augmented by the aging process. Visits had a particular routine that involved introducing ourselves every ten minutes…
“Who are you again?”
Dad was always social and that same gleem remained in his eyes as he attempted to remain connected to the present. As he drifted off into one of his frequent naps, memories turned to the lessons taught over the years. A sense of humor always tempered anger, leading to a softer disciplinary approach … and much wisdom.
The last and most memorable corrective measure occurred when I was a high school sophomore. I don’t recall how the argument with my mother originated, but I chose to use a few expletives. Her only response was the typical warning … Wait ‘til your father gets home.
Sent to my room, I obediently waited and contemplated the consequences. When my dad finally walked into the room, I was sitting on the edge of the bed. He sat down next to me and softly got my attention. Words were simple … You can speak to your mother anyway you want. But nobody speaks to my wife that way.
Those were his only words. Nothing else was done. But I received a different perspective on my parents’ relationship. It led to a better insight into the connectedness we all have to others … And ultimately to another.
It is said our initial view of God is tied to parental images and other authoritative influences growing up. Overcoming negative effects of theses influences is a key factor for the protagonist David Wright in my novel Incompetent Martyrs. As I strongly believe…
People do not reject God. They reject the image of God they have been taught.
Thanks for that positive image, Dad.
My wife and I had the pleasure of viewing cactus flowers that recently bloomed in our yard. The intricate detail observed was amazing, a reminder of the beauty that is nature. Unfortunately, the flowers had a short span to bloom. Just a bit over twelve hours and the full effect had faded.
Nature can provide both an example and a challenge to us. We have the opportunity to “bloom” every day of our lives by how we treat others we encounter … What beauty do we show the world?
Easter week allowed for a short trip to a favorite spot … Coronado, CA. My wife and I spent a couple of days on the beach, unplugging from normal tasks … and the pandemic. The word recreation itself contains the importance of taking time … to recreate … make new, or fresh again.
Over the past few years I had time to work on my novel Incompetent Martyrs while sitting on the sand or at a quaint spot at the Cherokee Lodge … (see photo).
As Edward Bellamy once said …
If bread is the first necessity of life, recreation is a close second.
A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I took a quick trip to Sedona, AZ. The shapes and colors of rock formations had me considering the beauty revealed by millions of years of erosion. It was a reminder of the slow process God uses in our life to carve out the beauty within … if we allow it.
Success is not measured in what we accumulate in life … It is the measure of the person we become.
Try not to evaluate moments in life by how good they made you feel … Or how bad. Focus on what you learned.
If I knew what the year 2020 was to bring twelve months ago, one resolution would have been to survive. With grace, caution and maybe a bit of luck my wife and I managed to stay safe. We enter this new year of 2021 with the hope that this pandemic fades from being a health concern and our lives can return to some normalcy. Challenges will be faced. No one has immunity from that.
Instead of making my usual list of resolutions, I am going to work on one that had my attention on Christmas morning. The real gift of Christmas is not just celebrating the past but making that past present in the lives of others. It is about transformation. If Christians could live as Jesus taught, and if other faiths could practice the best of what their religion has to offer, what a different place this world could be.
Happy New Year!
Two weeks ago my wife discovered a note on our front door. The typed message expressed the need for food at the local food banks. Residents were asked to donate canned, boxed or dry goods that would be picked up on the following Saturday morning to be delivered to a homeless shelter. It was clear by the signatures on the note that Ethan and Anna were young children.
It was also obvious that those raising the two children had passed along a very important message easily missed in this era of commercialization. The focus of these young people was on others. And in their generosity of heart, will receive more than others this Christmas.
The three wise men my wife made and has on display in our home this time of year will remind me of Ethan and Anna … And provide hope for our future.
Spending more time at home and tired of T.V. reruns in the past months, my wife and I got into building puzzles. Deep in a spare bedroom closet we found an old landscape puzzle yet to be opened. 1500 pieces with the Matterhorn as the central image.
My wife likes to complete the outer frame first. So we began … A couple of weeks in we were still struggling and she had enough. With a suggestion of boxing it up, I was not so willing to give in. Saying I had the patience of Job, it truly was stubbornness on my part. I hate to lose.
Pieces slowly came together, starting with the inside and working my way out. Much still remains to be done, but the process has reminded me of the importance of starting on the inside when discovering meaning in life … It is in understanding ourselves first that we have a better perspective on the big picture.
