Recently I had the opportunity to be in nature, appreciating God’s creation and feeling very much a part. Examining a pine tree closeup, I touched the bark. The rough texture reminded me of an aspect of my own life…
I was born the youngest of three … Very youngest. At an appropriate age my parents told me I was a bit of a surprise, showing up in the twilight of childbearing. It made them the oldest parents as I went through school. My siblings seemed like a different generation altogether.
The rough, or hardest, part came in understanding that much of my early formation was the result of attempting to fulfill extremely Catholic parental expectations. It wasn’t until my time in the seminary and theological studies that I began to comprehend the meaning of unconditional love. And conditional was never more evident than when I left the seminary.
Despite passive-aggressive opposition to a choice that ensued for years, I continued to listen to an inner voice. Anchored by my soulmate, I found my path and can now look back and view a bigger picture. There is more than just the rough texture on the trunk of that pine tree I touched…
My parents passed on years ago. Dad was first. Mom followed months later. My grieving involved reflecting on their love, what was competent and what was not. As the words of Paula D’Arcy always remind me … God comes to you disguised as your life.
To my dear friend PJ … Condolences over the recent loss of your parents. May your memories, both good and bad, be a healing salve in knowing the wholeness we become.