Category: Reflection

Retreating…or Not

Two weeks ago my wife and I were able to spend a restful weekend away from home, traveling to Fountain Hills east of Scottsdale, Arizona.  Accommodations were at the Inn at Eagle Mountain and we could not have been more pleased with the setting, facilities and staff.  

Also, highly recommended is the restaurant next to the main lobby … Pietro’s.  Enjoyed an incredible Italian meal.  Already looking for a return visit!

Though the intent was a getaway, thoughts and conversation remained on news heard about different friends and acquaintances.  All revived around health issues.  All involving cancer.  The range went from imminent death to treatable, and with all other ranges in between.  With each, we considered circumstances and tried to empathize.  It caused my own reflection on crosses we face in life…    

When faced with challenges and struggles the question should not be … Why me? Rather we should ask … How will this cross make me more in the image of God? … It is then that we can wipe the tears of others … Console the sorrowing … And find the strength to pick ourselves up and continue on, knowing we are deeply loved by the One.

Wisdom of Age

My father passed away a few years back, though I find myself reflecting on different moments in life…

Toward the end, I was visiting him in an assisted living facility.  Cognitive issues from a traumatic brain injury were augmented by the aging process.  Visits had a particular routine that involved introducing ourselves every ten minutes…

“Who are you again?”

Dad was always social and that same gleem remained in his eyes as he attempted to remain connected to the present.  As he drifted off into one of his frequent naps, memories turned to the lessons taught over the years.  A sense of humor always tempered anger, leading to a softer disciplinary approach … and much wisdom.

The last and most memorable corrective measure occurred when I was a high school sophomore.  I don’t recall how the argument with my mother originated, but I chose to use a few expletives.  Her only response was the typical warning … Wait ‘til your father gets home.

Sent to my room, I obediently waited and contemplated the consequences.  When my dad finally walked into the room, I was sitting on the edge of the bed.  He sat down next to me and softly got my attention.  Words were simple … You can speak to your mother anyway you want.  But nobody speaks to my wife that way.

Those were his only words.  Nothing else was done.  But I received a different perspective on my parents’ relationship.  It led to a better insight into the connectedness we all have to others … And ultimately to another.

It is said our initial view of God is tied to parental images and other authoritative influences growing up.  Overcoming negative effects of theses influences is a key factor for the protagonist David Wright in my novel Incompetent Martyrs.  As I strongly believe… 

People do not reject God.  They reject the image of God they have been taught.

Thanks for that positive image, Dad.

Time to Re…Create

Easter week allowed for a short trip to a favorite spot … Coronado, CA.  My wife and I spent a couple of days on the beach, unplugging from normal tasks … and the pandemic.  The word recreation itself contains the importance of taking time … to recreate … make new, or fresh again.

Over the past few years I had time to work on my novel Incompetent Martyrs while sitting on the sand or at a quaint spot at the Cherokee Lodge … (see photo).

As Edward Bellamy once said … 

If bread is the first necessity of life, recreation is a close second.

Beauty from Within

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I took a quick trip to Sedona, AZ.  The shapes and colors of rock formations had me considering the beauty revealed by millions of years of erosion.  It was a reminder of the slow process God uses in our life to carve out the beauty within … if we allow it.  


Success is not measured in what we accumulate in life … It is the measure of the person we become.

A Puzzling Analogy

Spending more time at home and tired of T.V. reruns in the past months, my wife and I got into building puzzles.  Deep in a spare bedroom closet we found an old landscape puzzle yet to be opened.  1500 pieces with the Matterhorn as the central image. 

My wife likes to complete the outer frame first.  So we began … A couple of  weeks in we were still struggling and she had enough.  With a suggestion of boxing it up, I was not so willing to give in.  Saying I had the patience of Job, it truly was stubbornness on my part.  I hate to lose.

Pieces slowly came together, starting with the inside and working my way out.  Much still remains to be done, but the process has reminded me of the importance of starting on the inside when discovering meaning in life … It is in understanding ourselves first that we have a better perspective on the big picture. 

Life and …

Recently I had the opportunity to be in nature, appreciating God’s creation and feeling very much a part.  Examining a pine tree closeup, I touched the bark.  The rough texture reminded me of an aspect of my own life…

I was born the youngest of three … Very youngest.  At an appropriate age my parents told me I was a bit of a surprise, showing up in the twilight of childbearing.  It made them the oldest parents as I went through school.  My siblings seemed like a different generation altogether.

The rough, or hardest, part came in understanding that much of my early formation was the result of attempting to fulfill extremely Catholic parental expectations.  It wasn’t until my time in the seminary and theological studies that I began to comprehend the meaning of unconditional love.  And conditional was never more evident than when I left the seminary.

Despite passive-aggressive opposition to a choice that ensued for years, I continued to listen to an inner voice.  Anchored by my soulmate, I found my path and can now look back and view a bigger picture.  There is more than just the rough texture on the trunk of that pine tree I touched…

My parents passed on years ago.  Dad was first.  Mom followed months later.  My grieving involved reflecting on their love, what was competent and what was not.  As the words of Paula D’Arcy always remind me … God comes to you disguised as your life.

To my dear friend PJ … Condolences over the recent loss of your parents.  May your memories, both good and bad, be a healing salve in knowing the wholeness we become.

Reflection on the Present

After a weekend of rioting in the streets across the country I opened my prayer book on Monday morning to a quote from a 6th century monk …

The reason for all disturbance is that no one finds fault with himself.

~ Saint Dorotheus

Over 1400 years later we face a time of needing to take a step back and do a bit of personal and community reflection.  If not, we may face what is stated in more words of wisdom associated with Mahatma Gandhi …

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.