Greetings to all!
I was not intending this first post to be at such a challenging and unprecedented time. My hopes and prayers are that you, your family and friends remain healthy – physically and mentally.
Let’s start with an explanation of the title. I heard the words incompetent and martyrs together many years ago in reference to people disheartened by their church leadership. Frustrated, some angry, they moved away from more sizable and unengaging practices of worship. A smaller gathering formed, one said to harken back to earlier times of the same denomination. They casually called themselves … the church of the Incompetent Martyrs.
Something resonated …
I grew up Catholic, felt drawn to a sense of spirituality and ritual. Stability was found in practicing traditions that provided meaning and purpose. Thoughts of priesthood arose during those younger years, an idea that was met with a great deal of enthusiasm amongst adults in my life.
That inkling surfaced at the end of high school, leading to a few years spent studying to be a priest. I was fascinated with advanced aspects of theology, especially on the nature of God, creation, and seeing how it might tie in to astronomy and other branches of science. Though eventually choosing another vocation, I never regretted the experience. The Catholic church, along with the seminary education, has been and remains an integral part of who I am.
Yet frustration grew …
It started in the seminary. Clericalism present, a self-absorbed, superior attitude amongst some who were eventually ordained. Adherence to propagated traditions seemed to take priority over helping others to discover what was already written in their hearts. The sexual abuse scandal and the reaction of the hierarchy intensified discouragement. I found myself adrift from original roots, moored to a singular faith in the Divine.
A close friend introduced me to the works of spiritual writer Fr. Richard Rohr. Reflecting on the daily meditations of the Franciscan, a different perspective arose. Like converging pieces of a puzzle coming together. Not a new revelation, but a rethinking of foundational theological roots.
A cathartic creativity arose along the journey. Writing found expression in a novel using the same title, Incompetent Martyrs. Incompetent in the story relates to our initial naïveté growing up, leading to influences on true freedom that negatively impact future decisions … And what ends up being martyred is one’s true essence. The narrative contains aspects of young love and shattered dreams, idealistic views turned inside out, misguided values and abuse, calamitous loss, passion and broken vows, a contracted murder, and the uncovering of a secret archive created to protect an institution. A spiritual awakening finally emerges for the protagonist, who once gave up the love of a woman to be a priest. In the end, it leads to a unique crossroad … Incompetent Martyrs is available at Amazon.com. Please check it out. Feedback would be appreciated!
Further posts intend to unpack life experiences, those touched on in the story and others; past influences and decisions, institutional religion, and our human quest to understand origins and purpose. We all have a unique perspective and my desire is to engage in that dialogue.
Be safe.
Peterson
…True commitment is not a decision at one point in time. It’s a willingness to be part of the journey (excerpt from Incompetent Martyrs)
~ Peterson O’Rourke
